The value of being a father

January 11, 1987 - Sunday - 6.00

The sun rises to the boy as like for any other citizens of the town. He woke up in a state of delirium as he is going to open the batting for his team for the first time that too against a formidable opponent in a local cricket tournament. Nothing is required but a glass of coffee and there he off to the ground in his bicycle with his friends cover both the front and rear spaces their bats, pads, perched in between. The first thing the boys do after reaching the ground is to hit the old balls to the remote corners where people sat for their shit and make them move for a safety position or finish their morning chores at the earliest possible time before the cricket balls attack the other balls. By 7.30 both the teams were assembled and one of the two captains tossed the 25 paise coin. The boy was tensed and raring to go and his legs started shaking in anticipation of facing the first delivery. To his utter delight the captain gave him a thumps up sign and he ran towards the best pair of pads available ( the one with both tags and buckles intact ) and his favourite bat.

The game begins on an awesome note as the first ball he faced was a short pitched one and being a strong off side player he despatched it to the cover for a four. Being a slogger all through his local career ( by the way he never played regional, national and international cricket ) hitting comes so natural to him as he never had a worry of getting out and his team was in trouble. His enthusiasm was contagious and his batting partner took the cue and started hitting freely and 50 was touched in no time. In a 25 overs match 75 runs in the first 15 overs without losing a wicket with a touching distance of a coveted 50 ( he was batting at 48 ) and facing the last ball of the 15th over there was call from the team distracted him. He made a wait sign faced the ball, hit it straight for a four and raised both hands. A friend of his from the team rushed towards him and informed he was urgently wanted at home and his uncle was waiting outside the ground for picking him up.

The instant panic gripped him as he was unaware of what has happened at home leave the ground with broken heart but with a satisfaction of giving his team a good total to build and defend.

January 10, 1987 - Saturday - afternoon 3'0 clock.

He still remembers this conversation with his father who was supposed to leave to his mother native to bring back his mother who is staying there for the past week. The fathers invitation to him was promptly rejected citing the important match ahead for him the next day. His appa said, be careful while playing, you have already been hit in your balls last month just the wound was healing any further injuries will make his life more miserable. I will be back tomorrow evening and we will go to a new movie released on that day. Eat well, read adequate, play well, and return soon for your lunch-were the final words of his father before his departure. But the boy doesnt know they are the final words he has heard from his father in his life.

January 11, 1987 - Sunday - 6.00 am - in a different place

His father woken up with a start as the natures' call is very urgent and the indigestion caused him to rush to the loo in a jiffy. Whole of his 90 kg structure find it difficult to fit into the toilet as it was very cramped. He enjoyed his morning first cigarette and relieving of his morning burden the call from his mother " coffee is ready " hit his ears. After washing he got up and tried to tie up his underwear string some black out of dizziness struck him hard and he fell back inside the toilet with back of his head banged hard at the wall. Thats it. He lost his consciousness, felt paralysed, his hypertension skyrocketed abnormally. None of them inside the house are not aware whatsover happened to him. After a good 10 minutes his mother was worried and rushed to the toilet to find out what has happened. His father was brought out of the toilet with great difficulties, rushed to a nearby hospital and the doctors expressed their inability to treat him due to want of equipments referred to his home town. They all were transported to his home town and his father was admitted with half consciousness and asked his brother to fetch his son who is playing at the ground. All of this said in signs by him. His uncle rushed in a car to the ground, waited outside and informed one of the team mate who has came out for a cigarette.

January 11, 1987 - Sunday - 10.00 am - Hospital

As soon as he entered the hospital and saw his mother he realised something terrible has happened as he was not informed about anything serious. A single look inside the room where his father has been bedded with wires attached in almost all parts of his body, monitors blinking erratically, with foul smell of urine and the favourite dettol smell belonged to all the hospital in unison he felt frightened to hell. A morbid fear engulfed him and he knew in that his future is bleak and became the bread winner of the family. With tears rolling from his eyes he wept uncontrollably with his mother at his side the doctor came and announced

Sorry we could not save him. He has passed away. He was asked to sign in a form he filled as follows.

Patients' Name: K. Narayanan
Father of : N. Mathusuthanan - Age 16.

Blessed are those people who are having their parents alive. I whole heartedly pray the almighty to give all the parents a long life irrespective of their present health condition and wish them a very good healthy life ahead, as I knew the pain of being raised as a fatherless boy and live a parentless middle age. The advices, expertise, experience we get from our parents are invaluable. Only those who are really previleged and fortunate will have the joy of living a lovely life with parents and giving a lovely life to them. Those who are not so fortunate start loving the elders in the family or treat the family of our near, dear and your friends as one of your family. Show your affection, empathy, understanding and shower your love, service to them in full without any expectation. I assure you the joy you will have could not be described. It has to be felt.

I salute the parents and children put together who value their real worth. Love you all

Goa – here we come

Taking a tour along with friends is always a realizable dream for every one of us. If the tour happens to a far off place with the language barrier blocks our decision, we always a wee bit hesitant to venture into it. When our team discussed to undertake an adventure the first name came to us is Goa.

Sandy beaches, fenny of different varieties, chilled beer, photogenic spots, all adds color to our dreams and the venue was finalized at the team meeting and our search for travel maps started. A group of five bachelors with not so great disposable income at our packets it is indeed a huge task at that point of time early 90's. Moreover getting permission from our home is next to impossible.

Human mind is a strange thing. When it decides on a topic and has a passion towards achieving it, it never stops at anything. As the fabulous four took all round efforts to convince the family of the fifth one in turns and got a go ahead from all the family the schedule date was fixed. The group decided to take a route which is so familiar to us and with a condition that total tour programme should not exceed more than a week. We started on a transport corporation bus to Bangalore from Erode and reached the Bangalore city in the wee hours of a Sunday. Our search for a connect travel to goa begins so early and our goods are deposited in a cloak room at the bus stand. We were all shocked to a revelation that no buses to goa in the morning hours and the first of the trip starts at 8 in the night and it takes 13 to 14 hours by bus to reach Panjim or panaji the capital city.

It is only the first day of our trip and we started counting the cash with us all and we are doing it for the fifth time since start. We were left with no other option but to rent a room in a nearby place. A day spent at Bangalore with room and refreshments definitely will cost a lot but we were left with no choice. The more we look for cheaper the dearer it became. Around 10 am we were settled at Nanjundappa lodge which is the only lodge matched our financial portfolio and blood stained, (reason unknown) mattress with creaky cot, moderately cleaned toilet ( no latches and hot water ) where one has to sing compulsorily or else never should worry about other seeing their private parts.

As like any other day I have a peculiar habit of prefer a movie over a lovely sleep I wish to explore the nearby theatre for a movie. While 3 backed out favouring sleep against movie myself and a likeminded lunatic for cinema went to a aamirkhan movie and came back. We skipped breakfast (no dieting but saving it for tomorrow) but finances never controlled the cigarette expenses. We bought the bus ticket to goa on our return had our lunch and slept half heartily as the fan never seems to be enough even to cover ones toes leave alone the whole body. We boarded the bus after a light dinner fearing unnecessary acidity or indigestive problems, which is a hazard both to us and the rest of the people traveling with us.

The bus reached Londa in the morning and stopped for a coffee and toilet break. It is indeed a greatest sight to watch the stretch of the high way from londa and the stretch seemed endless and there our cameras are out. A yashica with a flash is a pride possession and the owner of the camera always felt on top of everyone till it is in his hands. But the irony is he can’t have it all the time and enjoy others fun as seeing ourselves in photographs still gives us an unadulterated pleasure. The luxury bus become a town bus from londa as the local travelers boarded the bus and sat at the moving space between the seats. As I had occupied a window seat my friend who is at the aisle has to act as a chair for a kid till the bus reaches Panaji. He has constantly enquired about the toilet habits of the kid which by now started developing a fondness to my friend and started sleeping on his chest. When I check with the kid once on whose chair he is sitting he promptly replied ‘PAPA” much to the displeasure of my friend.

We got down at Panaji bus stand and an excellent chilled weather welcomed with stray winds and we expected a rain fall any time as it started drizzling. We are completely off guard at goa as we have only one who can speak a passable hindi others could understand the language but could not converse. Even his passable hindi failed him when the replies came in Konkani the local language in some of the lodges. After scouring so many lodges we settled with LA VISTA lodge in the main area which even matched our budgets. It is a nice place indeed for the amount they collected. The only condition for the occupants is they should reach the hotel before 9 pm after that even the main door was closed.

Our first visit at Goa is for a feny shop nearby where the wide range of drinks displayed with price tags. Of the five one is a tee totaller, 2 are only beers, 2 are adventurers. After two to three rounds of drinking binge we have finalized our tour plan at the bar itself because we were able to get connections and cab booking from the bar tender. I have almost forgotten to tell you the main pusher for goa is a movie named PUDHU PUDHU ARTHTHANGAL and the coconut tree filled vagator beach.

The ever beautiful calangute beach (queen of beaches), vagator beach a place where beers are sold in bamboo baskets like groundnuts in madras marina, dona paula, churches, margoa port trust, and our place of great interest is the city beach at Miramar. Miramar doest not look like a sea but an expansive swimming pool. We can even walk up to half a kilometer in the water and we played swissbee. As the waves take a rest at Miramar and they were vociferous in anjuna. But anjuna is famous for some other things like naked swimming, sun bathing, pick up-drop-but no escape kind of activities and no wonder we eyed anjuna and spent a considerable time there.

Seeing women topless and naked give us goose pimples and a shot down our crotch. But men are altogether a different thing. Though the men we saw there doesn’t possess something which we do not have. Whenever we go near a mans bum or other side of it we stepped up our walk to the nearest breast view ( it is a side angled view of the top ) and the view finders of our eyes roaming lustily and hungrily on any white skin, spotless, shining, giving no room for imagination, controlling ones manhood is a big task

After 3 days of all sorts of things a tourist will undertake in a beautiful place like goa like sight seeing, walking around the beaches, have fun at bar, taste the choicest beverages available, photographs are taken aplenty, shopping at the local market and we by chance got a chance to see Mr. Rajiv Gandhi who came to goa for a political meet. No great security over there we could even have shaken his hand at the public meeting at goa but none of us are interested whatsoever as we have to get our return journey back that night.

The return journey is even more memorable as we were placed to sit on a side board on the aisle seat which barely covers a part of our ass and balls and creeks always gives us an edge though the conductor pacified us it will not break up. We never took his words for granted and decided to do it our own way. We have folded the board and lied down in the walking space each ones head between legs of the person lying ahead. The eleven hour journey to belgaum is a real nightmare. From there we boarded a bus to Bangalore and reached in the morning. Since our return journey was reserved only at the night the first thing we have looked is for a developing studio and given the film rolls for printing as all of us eager to see the photographs of one of the most memorable journey till that date.

One day extended at goa, or one night extended at Bangalore, might have presented all of us an opportunity to beg, borrow or steal as our resources were fully drained out when we boarded our return journey at Bangalore and the leftovers only could take care of our sundries till we reached our home town. The reason being two days after we have seen him flesh and blood we have seen Mr. rajiv Gandhi again only as flesh and blood. Yes we have seen him two days prior and he was killed, assassinated, murdered two days later at Sriperumpudur. After so many years till now when we friends discussed about our go a trip to goa this gives us creeps.

All of our pleasant environment at goa and pleasure feelings get wiped off by this massive massacre during our maiden visit to goa and to till date a truly unforgettable one.

The team members are Mathusuthanan, Prabhakar, Kumar alias sekar, Ganesh and Sampath.

First day first show – down memory lane

superstar’s movie always gives us adrenalin rush and first day first show become inevitable and any show after that is unpardonable. How else I could describe myself as I have not any of Rajnikanth's movie second day in the past 22 years. It is a ritual of sort for the gang set aside all other releases targeting only his movie be it any occasion it become a festival for all of us. There is no kamal gang, rajni gang like that, all of us are compassionate and pathalogical movie goers in our team.

The ritual starts as soon as we saw the confirmed release dates announced in full page advertisements in Daily thanthi (those days it is acceptable now the size restricted to a maximum of quarter page) which is the only source of information as far as cinema is concerned. No channels, no fm radios, not much magazine reading, no internet etc all that adds to the suspense of watching as the story unfolds (many times it is the same old story ) but never mind it is superstar who is doing his part ( careful I have not mentioned the word acting which he has done in select movies not in all ) A point of information here is he has acted in the same story 4 times in 3 different languages. Tiger ( with NTR ), Sagodhara sabatham ( with vishnuvarthan ) Neruppu, and Siva ( with raghuvaran) all are same story with character interchanged. This is a record of sorts and all the films were bombed at the box office.

One week prior to the release the team assembled in a common place discussed about the financial viabilities and ticket availabilities. First things first some one has to have a contact with a fan club member of the town so as the chance of a miss during fan club shows will not go awry. We had a designated person for that job and he has taken care of the job for more than 3 years before we become self reliant of getting tickets on our own. Diwali and rajni movie always had more charm as the competition between rajni and kamal a treat to watch. We never worried about the competition, anyhow we are going to watch both of them one by one same day.

Then come the financial part. As like all gangs, some guys are rich some or not so. The fund collection will go on full swing and will finish in a day or two safely given to the ticket bearer ( he is the real hero as far as his own opinion is concerned ) without him we are nothing. No mobiles, no telephone, no sms, we have to wait till his arrival that night with bated breath. His smiling face and hard push of pedals announces he has completed his mission and all of us give a high five on seeing the tickets. Then the discussion about the story begins and the discussion touched topics which are not even discussed by the actor and the film crew.

We had a customary habit continued till some of us getting married which is nothing but go for a movie before diwali night which considerably reduces the number of hours between the main movie and our waking hours. We left with hardly 4 to 5 hours of sleep as the movie begins at 7.30 in the morning. Parents of all of us wonder how come these guys woke up at 4.30 when they reached home only 1.30 the previous night and fresh for the festival. The trick lies in the tickets which they come to know when we say no breakfast till 11.

6.00 am all guys in the street with new dress, boxes of crackers dumped in a single place and the fire works goes on for an hour. When a group of members goes on a rampage nothing is left for more than an hour. 7 o clock the cycle starts some has two some has three with the person sitting cross-legged in the pillion helped on pedaling. The procession reaches the theatre and all the passengers jumped off and rushing to the queue bulging by the minute. The clever one inserted himself with the mob entered the theatre successfully and wave from inside and entered the hall for marking the seats. A sigh of relief which can make a cotton market caught fire by its sheer heat is our sign of approval of his achievement.

We enter the hall with big OH, OOH, KEEE and all sorts of sounds, whistles, wild applauses with our new clothes fully drenched in the sweat, cigarettes smudged, hair lines out of order, with some bruises we take during our final push at the counter space to enter inside. Never mind guys it is superstar we are watching. No pain no gain. With only five minutes before start the poor operator has to undergo all the abuses from the movie watchers for no fault of his. Profanities galore, cat calls at their peak. There goes the screen black announcing the magic of superstar come alive in front of us, all our discomforts like not having break fast, the rush, the push, the hush, the hotch-potch of everything melts like an early morning snow when sun at its bright side.

Whole theatre erupted on the title and the name of the star appears, with lottery tickets torn and loitered in front of the projector hole, some taking a aarti, some guys started dancing before the screens it takes atleast 10 to 15 minutes after the arrival of the super star the initial euphoria gets sated. For all of us the real fun lies in the first 15 minutes. Rest of the things and sidelights are bonus…..Our day on any festival begins at 7.30 in a theatre and ends at 1.30 in the night in a theatre…..

Guys are you ready for the mela one more time?

cinema - golden memories

Cinema

The word brings me pleasant memories and embarassing situations we faced to watch a 2 to 3 hr of masala mostly for action between man to man earlier and man to woman later. Movie going is really an experience one cannot live without. The best of the experiences are had when we watch movies in a tent kottai ( touring talkies as fondly called by natives ) sitting in raw sand or even lying in it. With only a single projector available, intervals are aplenty and canteen sales were in full swing with rose water, sarbath, murukku, thattu vada.

As all gates are open like a cabaret dancers costume and the show begins only after the sun set at 7' o clock in the evening. The crowd starts pulling from 6.30 with old songs blared from speaker fitted at the top of the theatre announcing the beginning of a movie, movie goers are perfectly in tune with the song and started walking fast or pushing their bicycles hard.

Children pushing their parents back as hard as possible when they walk towards the theatre as their idea of watching movie with the parents is a matter of pride and topic of discussions the next day. The romeos why should we call them as roadside romeos most of them really are in love with some girls and looking forward for an opportune moment for exchanging a glance with the girl they thought they love and find a place next to the wall separating the two. The real lovers enjoy this rendezvous more than the actual movie running in front of them.

There was a mad rush infront of the ticket counter for newly released movies ( movies released six months back in bigger towns ) of super stars as there invariably two queues one on the ground one above heads are a normal scene. Those gymnasts delicately balancing their foot between walls and walk like a spider without stepping on the heads and shoulders of the hapless ticket mongers coming in a normal queue. Foul words and profanities are littered liberally soon forgotten once the ticket in their hands ( cigarette wrappers as tickets in most of the theatres exchanged at the entry and recycled at the counter again and again.)

No matter what they do and from where they come people march straight to the open toilet to finish of the emergencies just for the sake of it. Lit a beedi or a cigarette they just look at the crowd outside with a smirk as they have already entered and the crowd outside started become nervous of not getting a ticket or a proper sitting place. The back bench ( first class or premium class now a days ) are normally given for family crowd and 'RICH AND AFFLUENT" people who can afford 75 paise for a ticket. But the only problem is the tallest people made to sit at the corner because if they rise from their seat their head falls in line with the projector hole and we can see nothing but a black spot in the so called "white screen".

The clock is ticking and sun was set and the theatre was engulfed by darkness and the final song, an indicator of the movie start was played and the crowd become berserk. Clappings, whistles, cat calls, sh shing sounds, clouded the entire movie hall. As against normal science the sound of the projector travels faster than the light and the first of the slide welcoming the patrons was shown. Followed by a news reel shot a well 3 years ahead about the visit of a prime minister or president to a nation the eager movie beavers are not aware of existing. The murmurs during this news reel is a thing to cherish. When jawaharlal nehru or Indira Gandhi started addressing the reel comes to an end abruptly signalling the real movie beginning. The whistles, applauses, sounds reach their maximum and children started jumping up and down with ladies adjusting their seats, gents lights a new cigarette, operator rolls the first of the roll into the projector, stove was fired fitted with khadaai with oil used for the previous 3 days for hot and sweet bajji or vada, the final bell rang, the censor certificate showed up with a blur.

The real tamasha begins after that.....