Vinnaith Thaandi Varuvaaya – My take…

165 minutes of my time and hundred rupees of my earning was really worth the movie? This is the thought lingered on my mind while I come out of the cinema hall last evening. “It is a feel good movie, I have not seen the heroine in the movie but my real self you have done well, Karthik” this is how Jessi ( Trisha ) comments to Karthik ( Silambarasan ) about his maiden directorial venture. Whether the same thing could be said on the real movie (VTV)? I caught in a dilemma as the feelings or mixed and I felt something or some link is missing in the whole episode and especially in climactic scheme of things. By the way I don’t know who told Gowtham vasudev menon, tamil cinema audience always looking and started accepting for an end with a twist and difference. Sorry Mr Menon, We still love happy endings.

The film opens with a wedding ceremony where Jessi is getting married to Abraham and Karthik her lover watching from the back drop as an unsolicited invitee that takes us to inevitable flash back sequence. Karthik a mechanical engineer with an ambition of making it big in tinsel town aspiring to become a film director. It is love at first sight for him when he met Jessi daughter of his house owner a system analyst. Things go real fast when he declares his love for her in their first meeting itself and meant it. Jessi who seems clearly disturbed by this overt proposal just seems, but took the bait and fall for it too. But as like all the movies takes her sweet time to concede to the fact and returning the favour of loving karthik who is strangely one year younger than her. Things took their natural course of change in action as Jessis’ father a staunch Christian disapprove the love and vowed to wed his girl only to a Christian not to an assistant director or director in making also happens to be a hindu.

Things are blooming lovingly between Karthik and jessy and it is strange they talk more about separation than union in all their romantic meetings. Clearly the boy is at ease in his approach by his overtures and girl is at ease in her approach of negation.

But nothing will change as the boy and girl meets, and fall in love, resolved to change their parents mind sets and convince them. As like so many movies Jessi got a rowdy brother who predictably notices first about the tryst between the lead pair involved in a brawl with no marks for guessing who won it when hero informed us he was a trained boxer before the fight scene starts. The usual feud between the families resulted in a hastily arranged wedding to Jessi, where the dejected looking Karthik lovingly look at Jessy still nursing hope of a miracle that will stop the wedding. Miracle did happen as Jessi informed the Priest of the church that she is not interested in marriage and needed time. While she leave the church she invited the invitees for the wedding to join lunch at her home and take it as a treat for her passing MCA. What would you describe that funny, insult or a gesture? - Interval

When the brother and family members found Karthik among the crowd they mobbed him and took necessary action to present him to police custody. The stubborn Jessi promised her parents she will not speak, see and continue the relationship with Karthik provided he was released immediately. Next thing she realized that she was madly in love with him and longed to see him one last time for the nth time. There he was waiting at the windows for his one last time to see her.

The things happened after were at hectic pace, fight, love, fight, more love, and finally a separation. When finally karthik was informed Jessi got married and went to US, he has became an assistant director decided to use his own life as a story for his maiden directorial venture titled JESSI (again no marks for guessing). When the shooting crew landed at US for their shoot you know what will happen. Yes. He meet jessi the first thing, sit for a chat and expressed his love for Jessi is still alive and harbour some hope of getting her back in his life. The one good clear scene scores above the rest where the lead pair got their priorities and acting skills intact.

All worlds turned colorful at least for Karthik ( not for us ) when Jessi declares she is not married and just tried to avoid becoming a hurdle for Karthik’s ambition, and not hurting the sentiments of her father she left India and settling in US. Without wasting a minute Karthik proposed to Jessi and she happily agrees. One good song in which the wedding took place in a temple at America and all began well ends well, then comes the twist in the climax which will surely leave the viewers in a state of confusion, disbelief, and so much of emotions.

Performance wise this is one of the good one for silambarasan who tried very hard not to raise the voice and anger in his eyes as the character demanded such softness. He somehow manages that. But it is strange his aspiration to become a film director took a back seat after he falls in love with jessy and his aspiration took a new dimension just seeking an opportune moment to hug and kiss Jessi. The determination, hard work, and perseverance required to fufil an ambition is totally missing. But watch silambarasan in a soft act and you may not get another chance to see him like this except the maniratnam’s next film for which he is being tipped to be a male lead.

Trisha played her role with effortless ease as the role demands nothing extra ordinary but to look beautiful in casual costumes, toned down make up. She is ravishing and adds color to the screen for sure. Performance wise she still has a long way to go as she got only few stock expressions to deliver.

Technically the film looks awesome with A.R. Rehmans’ numbers are picturised magnificently in lush locals of kerala, new york and Jerusalem or turkey? (Photography by Manoj Paramahamsa ). With a lovely lead pair Gowtham could have done better by chiseling out some songs, unwarranted and mismatched the situations. Scenes jumping from Chennai to kottayam to New york to Chennai with alarming frequency viewers gasp for their breath when the end credits rolls. Beware Mr Gowtham at least a chunk of audience would have left their seats when the final song begins predicting their own conclusions about the movie and will be surprised if they come to know about the climax. But the damage done is done.

It is a movie best suited for multiplex audience,minus two songs who will enjoy the THANGLISH ( Tamil + English ) and relate themselves to the characters. For others I still recommend to go and watch it for its technical finesse, mellowed performance of the lead pair and not to forget the character of Dinesh ( friend, philosopher and guide of Silambarasan) for his comic relief.

No expectations. No Disappointments. Mr. Gowtham we expect something better next time as you got another bankable star at your disposal who badly in need of a hit than anyone else - Ajith.

HIT AND RUN

HIT AND RUN

Hit and Run is a favourite term in Cricket and American Baseball games. Mention this two words to the tinsel town heroes especially kollywood kings they just shiver and shudder. No one is exempted from this feeling as everyone is looking desparate to prove their real worth not like before. From super star to santhanam, from Ilaya thalapathi to inian, from Ultimate star to Vaigaip puyal, from K. S Ravikumar to Vasanthabalan all of them experienced to the maximum never seems fully understand the concept of the success.

We have different sections of jargons used to title a cinema like mainstream, entertainer, award winning, documentary, docu-drama, epic, historical etc but none of this describe the real cinema… The real cinema can be classified into two broader terms only. Good cinema and Bad cinema. What ever film that succeeds might be called a good cinema because of the box office collections, its star value, technical credits etc. But unless it has a good story with a well written screenplay the chances of it becoming hit is remote.

The title hit and run suggestively implies the real winner and the number of days it runs to packed houses, collections, the over all review of the movie etc. Now a days movies hit the theatre, run without a sound within few days not making any noise but the howling of the hapless producers and grief stricken distributors, agonized cinema theatre owners. Gone are the days movies celebrate 100 days, 175 days, 200 days in a single theatre when the star cast of the movie assembled in important cities to celebrate the success.



What happened now a days is totally different and interesting phenomenon. Within the first week of the release the movie stars started visiting theatres all over the state promoting and literally begging the movie goers to watch the movie in the movie halls rather than in c d, which are dime a dozen now a days. The irony is even when they are visiting the movie halls it needs some heavy advertising and publicity to pull the crowd even for the particular show.

This was recently happened in Madurai when the artists of the latest movie “Goa” visited a theatre here the total number of audience is below hundred with none of the upper class people decided to move their butts out of their seats out of shame, or dis-interest or false pride or some other only a handful of people surrounded the artists and threw the widely read and accepted questions like how come u act such glamorous in the movie ( of course to the heroine not to the man who played gay in the movie ), what is your next movie, what do you think about the future projects, all socially very relevant questions and without those answers the life became endangered.

After a 5 minutes of pregnant silence the crew answered all those questions bordered at the range of absurdity to stupidity, one by one much to the delight of the cheering people. The enthusiasm died after ten minutes and only the photo mongers were stood in front to see their photographs in the next days issue of vernaculars, pushed for a handshake ( especially with the heroine ), and understood the secret of their existence in this mother land and fulfilled a greatest achievement which could be boasted of to their near and dear ones next day.

What made this or created this chaotic atmosphere? Where are those eager first day first show watchers who do anything for a glimpse of their favourite stars, never mind about their looks get shattered by the maddening crowd at the ticket counter, sweated like a raging bull while they entered the cinema, whistling like a double mouthed parrot on a mere look at the white screen.

Just take a brief look at the careers of most of the top, trusted and assured money spinners’ movies and their performances. Nothing moves in Tamil movie industry without the magnetic name rajinikanth whose last movie kuselan really made the producers and distributors an apt choice for the title sank without a trace. The reason for this movies' debacle may vary, from his chance and selfish remarks before the movies’ release sparked controversy all over the state and even his fan clubs ditched the movie obliterating the earlier most welcomed, highly successful!!!! Sivaji the boss, and the trend setter Chandramuki.

Kamal Haasan, the ever youth man in wrong side of fifties tried his expertise in highly acclaimed and very successful dasavathaaram ( of which 3 are just to add the numbers was another issue ). He tried to repeat the success of the hindu movie a Wednesday remade it as unnai pol oruvan, ran as an also ran but the media and satellite channels projected the movie a great attempt by the versatile actor. He roped in Mysskin another successful but not so powerful director whose own project Nandalala is yet to see the light for reasons known only to select few. The movie required lots of research and mysskin took his own sweet time to ready it but not before kamal changed his mind to do a commercial comic caper with his trusted K.S. Ravikumar and shifted the dates to it.

Vijay who has been touted be an would be superstar with string of success until Pokkiri, bite the dust not for once but four in a row ( Alagiya tamil magan, villu, kuruvi, and now vettaikaran ) trusting heavily on his next venture “suraa” and body guard both were claimed as commercial pot boilers ( actually pot does not mean the producers stomach here ). Anyone of it click he will stand to stake a claim otherwise will also become a point of no return for him for the cult status.

Ajith, claimed to be an actor has a biggest opening next only to super star steadied his career with superstar’s remake of billa, but erred in Shahrukhs remake of main hoon naa, and came the original interestingly titled Aasal a pale copy of earlier movies, proved once again that flashy cars, smoking cigars, glamour doll heroines, gravity defying stunts will not hold a film together. This is the real lesson to Saran who tasted success on and often but failure regularly, except when he is with bankable stars like ajith, kamal etc. His earlier Mothi vilayadu can be clearly reviewed for how bad a movie can be made not for any other cause.

Vikram took almost a decade to establish as a bankable star did movies with bala which are very good, faced defeats in two movies which took long time to reach the theatres. Both Bheema, and Kandasamy did nothing to raise his stature. He pins all his hopes on Maniratnams’ Raavanan ( what is so secret about movies by maniratnam who cares very little for fans refusing to divulge even the title of his film is a mystery )

Surya, a talented artist trying something different every movies gone back to the commercial routine in Hari’s Singam. His latest Aadhavan create ripples initially only initially and nothing could save this film became an average also ran film.

Vishal who claimed fame by a hat trick of hits dived and went under the ground with consecutive flops and looked distraught seeks asylum with Bala signed a double hero subject with Arya formed other half., Bala who is a notable film maker notorious for his painstakingly slow film making. But bala has promised his next Avan Ivan will be released before 2010 end but highly unlikely.

Cinema is somewhat a safe place for smaller names like Dhanush, Ravi, Jeeva, Karthik, Bharath, who are growing heroes with not so weight on their head and doing roles which suit them. It is always better to do roles that justifies their age and stature rather than projecting themselves super hero and next to super star. One film might click and ten others will make them feel for what they do.

It is true that no one will work, shell out money, time, and sacrifice their careers to make failure movies but one thing they all conveniently forget is people now a days become so erudite, knowledgeable, tech savvy, knew the nuances in film making. And to make them come to theatres that too with family is a tough task for every film crew. Most of the time the story decides on success, some times the racy screenplay, songs, and technical expertise can only hold the film not carry it to the success. Heroes are trying hard and flexing every inch of their skin to make their film a success. Unless the above mentioned objects are intact no one could save a film from its fate.

The next best thing the kollywood film makers could do is take a leaf out of world cinema, bollywood, on the canvas they really paints their movies, making films which are closer to the heart rather to the skin, where the viewers feel the movie rather watch it. The all time grosser AVATAR, 3 Idiots, My name is Khan, are the latest examples about how films are projected in a different atmosphere, viewed in a totally different perspective could make viewers watch in awe. James Cameron who waited for more than 13 years to make an Avatar is a real case study for todays directors both veteran and budding ones.

Attending film festivals, panoramas, participating in panel discussions on how good movies are made, reviewing a movie by ripping it apart will not take anyone to the height of success. But an honest approach on the project in hand, extensive research before going to a shoot, planning concrete on a budget, last but most important is a will and determination to finish the film on time. Of all the movie production houses only AVM has this determination of announcing the release dates on the time of start none others do.

The delay in release of films is a clear indication of uncertainty in the minds of the directors and people lose interest in the movie. Or sometimes even the over expectations turn negative and reflects on its performance. The classic example is selvaraghavans’ over hyped Ayiraththil Oruvan (should have been titled Ayiraththil oruththi as only reema sen stole the show and occupies maximum screen time). Selvaraghavan’s angry remark to the scribes over this film is being a rip off of Hollywood block busters is a really funny one. The shadows are from Mckennas’ gold, Battle scenes from Mummy, exploration from Indiana jones series, The concept is from The Myth the examples are many.

All said and done a movie become hit and run for 100 or more days will not happen for quite some time. The celebration of silver jubilee of a movie was a distant past but everyone crave for. We see the 100 days, 175 days, only in news papers not in theatres any more. Chandramuki is an exception. I, as an eager movie buff wish the cinema took a different route altogether and hope all the actors aware of their plus and minus present movies which is appropriate to their age and stature lure the audience back to where they actually belong.

Movie watching is an enjoyable experience. No amount of communication advancement will diminish the sheer joy of watching the movies in a big screen with DTS, DOLBY sound effect with coke, ice cream and popcorn. Hoping to be back to theatres and enjoy the show.

My take on directors follows….

Conversation with my self - Part 2

“Traveling through time is a fascinating journey. The one thing you never regain is your lost second throughout our life” my self piqued. “Are you ready to join hands with me while we travel back forty years” self asked for which my only reply would be an emphatic “yes”.

December 16, 1969, 12.10 am the would be assistant regional manager after 40 years of a 13o odd year old publication was born at the stroke in a remote village named UKKARAM in erode district. The irony is his mother was brought straight from a movie hall at the village where she got pains and a 3 mile drive in a bullock cart from movie hall to hospital is more than enough for a normal delivery. I just came into existence where no one was there to rejoice except my maternal uncle, and my grand mother. My father was far away at erode and due to visit the next day. “You got your interest in movies from your birth dear. It is no wonder you are fond of movies till this minute” my self needled me. “You will be surprised to know that your father was also watching a movie at erode at the time of the delivery. Like father like you” my self guffawed.

“Have you ever thought about your real birth and what was your possessions, place of delivery, who was your nurse maid, who was the doctor who helped in giving birth to you, how much pain your mother must of have undergone” my self quipped. “Most of us don’t buddy, so you need not worry about those things. 90 out of 100 people will say no if you asked this question” my self assured. “Those things are seemed small or never mattered to you now, but for those small things you pure existence in the world now, itself become questionable isn’t it.?

“Living a forgettable life is something everyone can do. Dying unforgettable is the thing should everyone crave for but only few could able to attain it is that right?” I asked my self. “Well said man, well said” my self with a pride in its voice. “Now you are slowly entering into the groove. Which part of the life you lived in the past 40 years looked greener to you even now” my self asked me. “The life I lived for the first 15 years” I replied with a tinge of sadness evitable in my tone. Those 15 years of school life still make me smile, laugh, gives me goose pimples, ecstacy and bring me tears. See my eyes grew moist and tear drops are ready to drop…
“Then I wanted you to do a visualization for my sake” my self prodded me “just bring back the pleasant memories, love, hate, hatred, anger, jealousy of the first 15 years of your existence in the visualization and we will talk later” my self said in a very soothing voice, took a back seat made me relaxed and enjoy my rebirth comfortably.

My flashback rolls out with out a tortoise mosquito coil, or a cycle wheel spinning as you imagine...

There I was in a small 3 wheel cycle with my hair oiled and combed in a scooter crop, riding the cycle so fast from pillar to pillar of our house with a dryiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnng sound causing enough agony to the inmates of the house shout with horror on my speed. Whether they concerned about my inevitable fall or the damage could have happened to their ankles, toes, butts, food prepared and ready to be served I am not aware. But they were alarmed and that made my dryiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing crescendo to a new decibel level.
My grand fathers’ biggest task every day was to get me ready for the school across the street and every other person in the street could have corrected the time as 8.30 when my siren started negating the school experience like every other child. “haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa iyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyooooooooooooooo vidu vidu vidu " are the only phrases I used from LKG to UKG. My grandpa surely deserved the highest civilian award for bravery and indeed he performed the task of dropping me at school and picking me up, with admirable efficiency for more than 2 years till I got my fondness developed to Geetha Teacher who in turn fond of my cheeks, very cushion like surface to try her slap. Three slaps hard enough, is enough for me to realize she is not of the type who could surrender to my muffings and cryings. The realization along with girl friends of age 3 and above enthused me to embrace… wait wait not the friends but the school life.

“Hold on a minute…will that ever struck to you at that point of time that you become this and you will do this, you love this and you hate this” my self interrupted me and asked.

“Don’t be idiotic” I asked my self “how come a small kid knew he is making mistakes unless it was told to” “See the point. As a child you dint know you were making mistakes but still made it unknowingly. Now you are 40 and still making mistakes knowingly that nullify the fact that you are 40 and you have fully grown and an adult now, isn’t that right? My self asked me smiling after seeing my cheeks and eyes turn red. “Jump to the teen age it is getting late and I don’t want to bore the readers of this blog too” my self mooted.

Khaki half pant ( arai (half ) drawer is a crude word so I stylized it as half pant ) and a white shirt with a cloth bag with a long rope like handle neatly hanged in the middle of the head with bag touched my back and moved up and down massaging my back during my 4 kilometers walk from house to school. Both of my hands are busy as one is with a thooku contained (an aluminium tiffin box with a handle) consisting of rasam saadham, and other with hand in hand with my friend lived near by. My menu never changed too often 5 days in a week I took rasam rice as Saturday and Sunday were holidays I ate the same in a plate that is the only difference.
Lunch time is the time we exchange our eateries as five of us sat together when shared equally we all get a square meal of different varieties with no family aware of as sharing food with others especially other community considered a taboo at our home of which we five are not aware. Jayaraman, kalyanaraman, muralidharan, hafizur rehman, and yours truly are the pancha pandavas in question.

Knowingly or unknowingly I have developed a fondness on studies and never gone below the 5th rank through out my schooling which the other four or opposed to. “daai, it is not right on your part gunda! Play while you play, play while you read is our policy, you are breaking the tradition that cause headaches to us as our parents started pointing towards you and claimed see he is also your friend and roaming with you guys but he outscored you every exams. Who is clever him or you?. Rehman claimed I think this is an insult to you and I cant tolerate my friend get insulted, hafizur rehman declared emphatically.
Knew well of his intentions my answer was always a smile when someone gets angry of me and the habit continuing till day.
“Daai jayamalini, என்னடா உன் நினைப்பு, பாக்கறது ஜெயமாலினி படம். படிக்கறது சிலப்பதிகாரமா? எங்களப் பாத்தா சும்பனுங்க மாறி இருக்கா?
Jayaraman used to call me jayamalini not that I am an ardent jayamalini fan but he loved my thighs and pinching it hard and make my eyes welled with tears was his hobby. You people don’t know how much I craved to reach the 9th standard where the full pants made compulsory. My craving was to save my thighs rather than become manly after wearing the pair of trousers. Incidentally all the five got separated and placed in different sections according to our own skills by the dumb school teachers or dumb is the word described best of us.
How we all missed each other can’t be described and when we five met recently two years back the days of rejoice returned aplenty. With Jayaraman became a hardware shop owner, kalyanaraman became an accountant in a textile shop, Muralidharan became an auto driver, hafizur rehman became a mechanic, me as you all know. However the occupation took a back seat when the 8th standard alumnae assembled. Though our bodies aged we turned 13 on that day.
The last day of our schooling was memorable to me till this moment. We all in SSLC, still in touch, grown from strength to strength or weakness to weakness we don’t know. We all assembled under a neem tree at our mammoth school compound waiting for the mark lists to be given with 2 failed ( names withheld due to various reasons ) 3 passed. I got my mark list and my head started spinning like a giant wheel and took a 800 meet lap shouting hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo as I scored a three digit ( yes centum ) in mathematics and my total percentage is 83 which was double than what the other two passed got. But the strangest thing is the other four also joined me in my victory lap never minded about their own score and their real joy was evident and unadulterated.
ஐயரே சூப்பர்டா! நீயாவது இவ்வளவு மார்க் எடுத்தியே. ரொம்ப சந்தோஷம்டா. We all hugged each other and promised to meet the next year as plus one students while other two prepare for October supplementary.
Fate is too cruel and that was last day we all met and together and it took more than 26 years to join together sans one person and only to realize how education ruined and change all our lives. None of us were spared and had our own share of misfortunes, losses some are irreparable, or irrevocable, full of tearful episodes, nothing but sorrows and sorrows.

“Hey stop it man! Don’t go and delve in that part of life again” my self stopped me from my visualization. “It is better to keep the sorrow in a corner of the heart and start moving. Other wise you will get stuck and become stationary. Let the adversities and sorrows act as a fuel to ignite the fire in the belly and give us enough strength and vitality to move fast, faster and fastest in the competitive scenario” my self advised. “If you have negative qualities like, hate, hatred, anger, jealousy, envy etc channelise all those qualities and pool the collective power and show it in your performance or work” my self told me “I will give it in writing your success cannot be stopped by anyone or any cause if you do this” my self retorted. “ok shall we move to a dangerous path to tread, your personal plus and minus, positives and negatives, good and bad, luck and misfortunes?” my self’s question made me go deep into my thinking once again….
To be continued…

“Traveling through time is a fascinating journey. The one thing you never regain is your lost second throughout our life” my self piqued. “Are you ready to join hands with me while we travel back forty years” self asked for which my only reply would be an emphatic “yes”.
December 16, 1969, 12.10 am the would be assistant regional manager after 40 years of a 133 year old publication was born at the stroke in a remote village named UKKARAM in erode district. The irony is his mother was brought straight from a movie hall at the village where she got pains and a 3 mile drive in a bullock cart from movie hall to hospital is more than enough for a normal delivery. I just came into existence where no one has there to rejoice except my maternal uncle, and my grand mother. My father was far away at erode and due to visit the next day. “You got your interest in movies from your birth dear. It is no wonder you are fond of movies till this minute” my self needled me. “You will be surprised to know that your father was also watching a movie at erode at the time of the delivery. Like father like you” my self guffawed.
“Have you ever thought about your real birth and what was your possessions, place of delivery, who was your nurse maid, who was the doctor who helped in giving birth to you, how much pain your mother must of have undergone” my self quipped. “Most of us don’t buddy, so you need not worry about those things. 90 out of 100 people will say no if you asked this question” my self assured. “Those things are seemed small or never mattered to you now, but for those small things you pure existence in the world now, itself become questionable isn’t it.?
“Living a forgettable life is something everyone can do. Dying unforgettable is the thing should everyone crave for but only few could able to attain it is that right?” I asked my self. “Well said man, well said” my self with a pride in its voice. “Now you are slowly entering into the groove. Which part of the life you lived in the past 40 years looked greener to you even now” my self asked me. “The life I lived for the first 15 years” I replied with a tinge of sadness evitable in my tone. Those 15 years of school life still make me smile, laugh, gives me goose pimples, ecstacy and bring me tears. See my eyes grew moist and tear drops are ready to drop…
“Then I wanted you to do a visualization for my sake” my self prodded me “just bring back the pleasant memories, love, hate, hatred, anger, jealousy of the first 15 years of your existence in the visualization and we will talk later” my self said in a very soothing voice, took a back seat made me relaxed and enjoy my rebirth comfortably.
There I was in a small 3 wheel cycle with my hair oiled and combed in a scooter crop, riding the cycle so fast from pillar to pillar of our house with a dryiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnng sound causing enough agony to the inmates of the house shout with horror on my speed. Whether they concerned about my inevitable fall or the damage could have happened to their ankles, toes, butts, food prepared and ready to be served I am not aware. But they were alarmed and that made my dryiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing crescendo to a new decibel level.
My grand fathers’ biggest task every day was to get me ready for the school across the street and every other person in the street could have corrected the time as 8.30 when my siren started negating the school experience like every other child. “haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa iyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyooooooooooooooo vidu vidu vidu “ are the only phrases I used from LKG to UKG. My grandpa surely deserved the highest civilian award for bravery and indeed he performed the task of dropping me at school and picking me up, with admirable efficiency for more than 2 years till I got my fondness developed to Geetha Teacher who in turn fond of my cheeks, very cushion like surface to try her slap. Three slaps hard enough, is enough for me to realize she is not of the type who could surrender to my muffings and cryings. The realization along with girl friends of age 3 and above enthused me to embrace… wait wait not the friends but the school life.
“Hold on a minute…will that ever struck to you at that point of time that you become this and you will do this, you love this and you hate this” my self interrupted me and asked.
“Don’t be idiotic” I asked my self “how come a small kid knew he is making mistakes unless it was told to” “See the point. As a child you dint know you were making mistakes but still made it unknowingly. Now you are 40 and still making mistakes knowingly that nullify the fact that you are 40 and you have fully grown and an adult now, isn’t that right? My self asked me smiling after seeing my cheeks and eyes turn red. “Jump to the teen age it is getting late and I don’t want to bore the readers of this blog too” my self mooted.
Khaki half pant ( drawer is a crude word so I stylized it as half pant ) and a white shirt with a cloth bag with a long rope like handle neatly hanged in the middle of the head with bag touched my back and moved up and down massaging my back during my 4 kilometers walk from house to school. Both of my hands are busy as one is with a thooku contained (an aluminium tiffin box with a handle) consisting of rasam saadham, and other with hand in hand with my friend lived near by. My menu never changed too often 5 days in a week I took rasam rice as Saturday and Sunday were holidays I ate the same in a plate that is the only difference.
Lunch time is the time we exchange our eateries as five of us sat together when shared equally we all get a square meal of different varieties with no family aware of as sharing food with others especially other community considered a taboo at our home of which we five are not aware. Jayaraman, kalyanaraman, muralidharan, hafizur rehman, and yours truly are the pancha pandavas in question.
Knowingly or unknowingly I have developed a fondness on studies and never gone below the 5th rank through out my schooling which the other four or opposed to. “daai, it is not right on your part gunda! Play while you play, play while you read is our policy you are breaking the tradition that cause headaches to us as our parents started pointing towards you and claimed see he is also your friend and roaming with you guys but he outscored you every exams. Who is clever him or you. Rehman claimed I think this is an insult to you and I cant tolerate my friend get insulted, hafizur rehman declared emphatically.
Knew well of his intentions my answer was always a smile when someone gets angry of me and the habit continuing till day.
“Daai jayamalini, என்னடா உன் நினைப்பு, பாக்கறது ஜெயமாலினி படம். படிக்கறது சிலப்பதிகாரமா? எங்களப் பாத்தா சும்பனுங்க மாறி இருக்கா?
Jayaraman used to call me jayamalini not that I am an ardent jayamalini fan but he loved my thighs and pinching it hard and make my eyes welled with tears was his hobby. You people don’t know how much I craved to reach the 9th standard where the full pants made compulsory. My craving was to save my thighs rather than become manly after wearing the pair of trousers. Incidentally all the five got separated and placed in different sections according to our own skills by the dumb school teachers or dumb is the word described best of us.
How we all missed each other can’t be described and when we five met recently two years back the days of rejoice returned aplenty. With Jayaraman became a hardware shop owner, kalyanaraman became an accountant in a textile shop, Muralidharan became an auto driver, hafizur rehman became a mechanic, me as you all know. However the occupation took a back seat when the 8th standard alumnae assembled. Though our bodies aged we turned 13 on that day.
The last day of our schooling was memorable to me till this moment. We all in SSLC, still in touch, grown from strength to strength or weakness to weakness we don’t know. We all assembled under a neem tree at our mammoth school compound waiting for the mark lists to be given with 2 failed ( names withheld due to various reasons ) 3 passed. I got my mark list and my head started spinning like a giant wheel and took a 800 meet lap shouting hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo as I scored a three digit ( yes centum ) in mathematics and my total percentage is 83 which was double than what the other two passed got. But the strangest thing is the other four also joined me in my victory lap never minded about their own score and their real joy was evident and unadulterated.
ஐயரே சூப்பர்டா! நீயாவது இவ்வளவு மார்க் எடுத்தியே. ரொம்ப சந்தோஷம்டா. We all hugged each other and promised to meet the next year as plus one students while other two prepare for October supplementary.
Fate is too cruel and that was last day we all met and together and it took more than 26 years to join together sans one person and only to realize how education ruined and change all our lives. None of us were spared and had our own share of misfortunes, losses some are irreparable, or irrevocable, full of tearful episodes, nothing but sorrows and sorrows.
“Hey stop it man! Don’t go and delve in that part of life again” my self stopped me from my visualization. “It is better to keep the sorrow in a corner of the heart and start moving. Other wise you will get stuck and become stationary. Let the adversities and sorrows act as a fuel to ignite the fire in the belly and give us enough strength and vitality to move fast, faster and fastest in the competitive scenario” my self advised. “If you have negative qualities like, hate, hatred, anger, jealousy, envy etc channelise all those qualities and pool the collective power and show it in your performance or work” my self told me “I will give it in writing your success cannot be stopped by anyone or any cause if you do this” my self retorted. “ok shall we move to a dangerous path to tread, your personal plus and minus, positives and negatives, good and bad, luck and misfortunes?” my self’s question made me go deep into my thinking once again….
To be continued…

திருப்தி அல்லது நிம்மதி எது வேண்டும்?

திருப்தி அல்லது நிம்மதி எது வேண்டும்?

இது என்ன கேள்வி இடது கை வேண்டுமா வலது கை வேண்டுமா என்பது போல என்று நினைக்கிறீர்களா? அல்லது உடல் வேண்டுமா அல்லது உயிர் வேண்டுமா என்று கேட்டால் என்ன பதில் சொல்வது என நினைக்கிறீர்களா? ஆம் எனில் வாருங்கள் என்னுடன் கை கோர்த்து ஒரு சிறிய உலா போய் வருவோம்.
நமக்கு திருப்தி தருவது என்ன? கல்வி, செல்வம், குடும்பம், பணி, நண்பர்கள், உறவினர்கள் இன்னும் பல. ஆனால் இவையனைத்தும் நமக்கு உண்மையான திருப்தியைத் தருகிறது என்று சொல்பவர்கள் எத்தனை பேர் கை உயர்த்துங்கள். சரி. இவை அனைத்தும் திருப்தியை மட்டும் அல்ல நிம்மதியையும் சேர்த்து தருகின்றன என்று சொல்பவர்கள் எத்தனை பேர் கை உயர்த்துங்கள். அடடா! என்ன பாதி கைகள் இறங்கி விட்டன. ஒரு மனிதன் நிம்மதியாய் வாழ இதை விட வேறேதும் தேவையா என்ன? இவை திருப்திகரமாக அமைந்து விட்டால் நிம்மதி தானாக வந்து விடுமல்லவா? இல்லையா? பிறகு நமக்கு வேறு என்ன தான் ஐயா வேண்டும்?
ஆயிரம் இருந்தும் வசதிகள் இருந்தும் no peace of mind பாட்டு ஞாபகம் வருகிறதா? திருப்தியையும் நிம்மதியையும் தேடி அலைபவர்கள் தானே நாம் அனைவரும். இருப்பது இது இரண்டு மட்டுமே. ஆனால் இதிலும் நமக்கு ஒன்றை ஒன்று பெரிதாகத் தெரிகிறது. இது எதனால்? என்ன வித்தியாசம் இதில் நாம் காண.
உண்மையில் எது மிகத் தேவை, முக்கியம்? பகுத்து அறியும் வழி தான் என்ன? அல்லது இரண்டும் ஒன்று தானா? நாம் தான் அதை தேவையின்றி வேறுபடுத்திப் பார்த்த்துக் குழப்பம் அடைந்து கொண்டு இருக்கிறோமா? சற்றே அலசிப் பார்ப்போம்.
இந்த ஒரு அலசலில் இதற்கு விடை தெரிந்து விடும் என்று நான் சொல்ல வரவில்லை. எனக்கு ஏற்பட்ட குழ்ப்பங்கள், கேள்விகள் உங்களில் பலருக்கு எழுந்திருக்க கூடும். அல்லது இதைப் படிப்பதன் மூலம் புதிதாகக் குழ்ப்பங்கள் வரலாம். அது கூட உஙகள் சுய முன்னேற்றத்திற்கான ஒரு படியாகக் கூட இருக்கலாம். எழுதுவதில் உள்ள ஒரு வசதி என்னவென்றால் படிப்பவர்கள் கண்டிப்பாக இதைப் படித்திருப்பார்கள் என ஒன்று. அல்லது யாரோ ஒருவர் தானே படிக்கப் போகிறார் நாம் எழுதுவதை எழுதி வைப்போம் என எழுதலாம். இந்த பகிர்தலைப் பொறுத்த வரை அது உஙகள் விருப்பம்.
முதலில் கல்வியை எடுத்துக் கொள்வோம். படித்த அனைவரும் நிம்மதியாக, திருப்தியாக இருக்கிறார்கள் என சொல்லமுடியுமா?. உலகில் இப்போது மனிதர்களின் அளவுக்கு படிப்புகளும் கல்விக்கூடங்களும் இருக்கின்றன. ஒவ்வொரு மாணவனும் தனது திறமையை உணர விடாமல் அவனது பெற்றோர்களும், சுற்றங்களும், நண்பர்களும், சூழ் நிலைகளும் அவனை தவறான பாதைக்கு திருப்புகின்றன. பிடிக்காத படிப்பை எடுத்து படித்து வாழ்வில் தோற்றுப் போன மனிதர்கள் ஏராளம்.
பிடித்தை படிப்பை படிக்க முடியாமல் கிடைத்ததை படித்து வாழ்வில் தோற்றுப் போன மனிதர்கள் ஏராளம். இந்த இருவருக்கும் நிம்மதியோ திருப்தியோ கிடைப்பதில்ல. இவை இரண்டும் நடந்து படித்து முடித்து வரும் மாணவர்கள் அனைவரும் திருப்தியாக நிம்மதியாக இருக்கிறார்களா என்றால் அதுவும் இல்லை. ஏன்?
கல்வி அவர்களுக்கு புத்தகப் படிப்பை மட்டும் சொல்லிக் கொடுக்கிறது. இந்த உலகம் அவர்களுக்கு வாழ்க்கைப் படிப்பை சொல்லிக் கொடுக்கிறது. இரண்டுக்கும் உள்ள வித்தியாசம் மிக அதிகம்.
படிக்கவும் படித்து பிறகு நல்ல பணியிலும் சேர்ந்து விட்டவர்கள் எப்படி உளர்? அவர்கள் நிலை இன்னும் கவலைக்கிடம். தொழிற் போட்டி, இடமாற்றம், சம்பளம், ஊர், மக்கள் என எவ்வளவு விஷயங்களில் தான் அவர்கள் மாற்றங்கள் செய்து கொள்ளமுடியும். இவை அனைத்தும் அவர்கள் மன ஆழத்திற்கு சென்று பின்னர் மன அழுத்தமாக மாறி அவர்களை கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக சிதைக்க ஆரம்பிக்கிறது.
அடுத்ததாக மிக முக்கியமாக குடும்ப வாழ்க்கை. கணவன் மனைவி என இரண்டு பேரும் சம்பாதிக்கின்ற குடும்பங்கள் இப்பொழுது பெருத்து வருகின்றன. லட்ச லட்சமாக இருவரும் சம்பாதித்தாலும் இவர்கள் வீட்டில் இருக்கப் போவது அவர்கள் சம்பாதித்த பொருட்களும், பணியாட்களும் தான். குழந்தை பெறுவதை தள்ளிப் போட்டு பின்னர் கரு உருவாக மருததுவர்களை தேடி ஓடுகிறார்கள். பெற்ற குழந்தைகளை பணியாட்களிடம் விட்டு விட்டு அலுவலகம் ஓடுகிறார்கள். பணம், வசதி இரண்டும் மட்டும் இருந்தால் குழந்தைக்குப் போதுமா? அன்பறியாத குழந்தை தவறாக வளர்வதில் வியப்பு ஏதும் இல்லை. இதில் சில விதி விலக்குகள் உண்டு. ஆனால் அவை மிகக் குறைந்த சதவீதம் தான். இவர்கள் எதில் திருப்தி தேடுகிறார்கள், பணத்திலா, பதவியிலா, வசதியிலா. இவர்கள் நிம்மதி எதில் இருக்கிறது மேற் கூறிய எதிலும் இருக்க வாய்ப்பு இல்லை. இவை எதுவும் நிலையற்றவை மாறக் கூடியவை. பின் எதற்காக இவர்கள் பணி புரிகிறார்கள், சம்பாதிக்கிறார்கள்?
உறவினர்கள் மிக இன்றியமையாத ஒரு அம்சமாக இந்திய கூட்டுக் குடும்ப வாழ்க்கைத் தத்துவத்தில் விளங்குகின்றனர். ஆனால் நம்மில் எத்தனை குழந்தைகளுக்கு, மாமா, மாமி, அத்தை, நாத்தனார், கொழுந்தியார், நங்கையார், ஷட்டகர், மசசினர், மச்சினி, போன்ற உறவுளும் அவர்கள் வாரிசுகளும் மிகவும் நெருக்கமாகத் தெரியும். உங்களுக்குத் தெரியும் என்றால் உங்கள் வயது நிச்சயம் 50 வயது இருக்கக் கூடும். உங்களுக்குத் தெரியும் பட்சத்தில் இந்தக் கேள்வி உங்கள் உறவினர்களின் வாரிசுகளுக்குப் பொருந்தும்.
கல்வி, செல்வம், குடும்பம், பணி, நண்பர்கள், உறவினர்கள் இன்னும் பல. ஆனால் இவையனைத்தும் நமக்கு உண்மையான திருப்தியையும் நிம்மதியையும் தருகிறது என்று சொல்பவர்கள் கைகள் இறங்கி விட்டன. ஒரு மனிதன் நிம்மதியாய் வாழ இதை விட வேறேதும் தேவையா என்ன? இவை திருப்திகரமாக அமைந்து விட்டால் நிம்மதி தானாக வந்து விடுமல்லவா? இல்லையா? இல்லை என்பது இப்பொழுது லேசாகத் தெரிகிறது. பிறகு நமக்கு வேறு என்ன தான் ஐயா வேண்டும்? மேலும் அலசுவோம். இதற்குத் மிகத் தெளிவான விடை நம்மிடம் இருக்கிறதா, இல்லையா என்பது குறித்து ஒரு சின்ன பயிற்சி. உங்கள் பார்வையில் திருப்தி என்பது என்ன. நிம்மதி என்பது என்ன. சொல்லுங்கள். அதை வைத்து ஒரு முடிவிற்கு வர முடிகிறதா என பார்ப்போம்.
பதிலளிக்கும் முன் நன்றாகச் சிந்தியுங்கள். மேம்போக்கான சிந்தனைகள் தெளிவின்மையைத் தான் தரும். அதுவரை காத்திருக்கிறேன்.
அன்புடன்
உங்கள் மதுசூதனன்.

Conversation with My Self – Part 1.

Conversing with other people is one of the favorite pas-time we all have. The conversations varied from person to person, position to position, time to time, age to age. But most of us forget the art and importance of talking with ones’ self. Since all the developments and destructions being with us and begin with us a little bit of extra care and concentrating on ones self will do us a world of good.

Enthused by this sudden thought I sat with my self” over a cup of coffee and a couple of cigarettes started exploring the connections and dispositions. It is truly a fascinating journey I must tell you. I don’t expect you all to agree with me on this but the question is not to agree with me but to agree with your selves after your rendezvous with your self’.

Finishing of all the necessary and formal greetings, self asked me, "By the size of your body I could say you are fed well, more than what you actually require which is a sure sign of inviting trouble in future are you going to do anything on this buddy?"

Absolutely I said to my self “I have been practicing yoga, meditating regularly, reading self improvement and exploration books, looking to serve the office and society better”.

“Ah! That’s very nice to hear” my self said. “You told me sometime back you are going to start walking and stop smoking. Where do you stand in that?”

The self’s question put me in a spot of quandary. Ideally this is not the first question I expect from my self since I have promised myself only to speak truth and no lies how hurtful or delicate the situation it is. “No to both” I replied self.

My self chuckled “what an answer dear boy. You are practicing yoga, doing pranayama and sit for meditation, reading books of your size and less to improve yourself, but still you cannot start a good habit and kick a bad habit, isn’t that a bit weird?”

Sweat beads started forming in my forehead and I just brush it of with my right thumb pretending as though the sweat is by lack of air and not from my lack of commitment. “I am trying and trying really hard on both counts but some thing doesn’t happen. But surely I will do one day, don’t doubt my sincerity on that” I replied and I replied a tad fast and I could sense my own shade of lies embossed on the words.

“Leave it buddy," my self said "lets deal with it later since when you started smoking and since when you started walking" my self asked. Irritated by this ridiculous question I answered "I am walking for the past 39 years and smoking for the past 20 years what is the big deal fella?" I asked my self.

“So your walking experience precedes your smoking experience and we give greater respect to people, thing, job and rate high of all of those with more experience, isn’t that right brother? Don’t get confused mathu,” my self explained to me “I just relate facts and figures to you for a better understanding. Now that you have accepted that your walking pre-dates your smoking why don’t you give the respect that activity deserves and why do you show your affection to a habit which is 19 years younger than a good habit.”

The statement really hit me but not so hard as I was prepared for this line of conversation and I am confident of overwhelming my self by my intelligent answering. “Walking needs physical exertion but smoking needs little effort. It is just a puff and huff that’s all.”

“Nice answering” my self chortled. "Then why do people who go for regular health checkup especially cardiac patients are advised for a tread mill walk or jog to test their heart condition, they could do away with a pack of cigarette or so. The first questions asked to a heart patient is whether they are smokers and do they walk regularly. Can you explain me on that friend?"

“Oh! It is just a formal question by the medicos to use me as an accessory in all sorts of medical equipments they have bought, brought, or gifted make my butt swell a bit by injection and reduce the swell of my purse with the bills” I replied.

“Is it so? Let us see the fact” my self cleared its throat enjoying every moment of my annoying postures and irritation. “Let us delve deeply my dear mathu. Do you please tell me that what are all the good things you have or had?” Take your time before you answer.

I answered with a pride almost immediately, “I have a business mobile, I own a car, I own a home, I draw a decent salary, I have a pc at home, my kid is studying in a good school, while my wife takes care of the family well. Till this day I had everything I like”.

"Very rightly said dear boy rightly said. All the good things you said you have could also be with other people, even better than you. What is the single commonest thing you have which others don’t have?" my self questioned.

"My whole body and my brain", is the instantaneous reply from me. “You deserve a small acclamation with a clap for this answering my self said to me, then why do you want to spoil the body with a habit which could even make your lively body into a dead body, and damaging your brain with toxic thoughts as one toxin is going to multiply and your whole body become toxic including your brain.”

“Tell me if I am wrong” my self said to me “you have listed some of the good things you possess. I have a complete and different set of answers for that question. You have a fully grown body that means you are not handicapped of any sort. You have adequate education which helped you to stay afloat in your current profession if not go so high, you earn some sum handsome to your packets and could run your family with or without debts, with your kid studying in a good school and you live in a home said to be your own till you exist physically in this world.

But can you deny me all this will not be yours unless you live a healthy life, even between the words Health and Wealth H” comes first in alphabet. As the old but a gold saying goes all of us chasing wealth compromising on our health. Later we spend all the wealth earned without caring for the Health for the same purpose which actually deteriorates after some time. This takes me to the other part of your life you forgot to mention but will not be forgotten for life – YOUR CHILDHOOD.

to be continued....